As Easy As Breathing
by sungiekyo
Summary: How hard is it to breath? A Super Junior Heechul X Leeteuk Fanfiction. One Shot.


**DISCLAIMER : All characters here aren't mine! ****Even that I hope so.**** Any Characters mentioned here are owned by their entertainment, and themselves. **

Rating : PG-13

Genre : Angst

Pairing : Heechul x Leeteuk

Summary : This is a choice between to breath or not to breath.

_**WARNING : ONLY FANFICTION, NOT REAL LIFE. BEWARE OF THE BOYS x BOYS LOVE. ONCE AGAIN THIS IS ONLY FANFICTION. IF YOU DON'T LIKE YAOI / SLASH / BOY x BOY LOVE, PLEASE KINDLY AVOID. THANKYOU~**_

A teukchul fanfic

It simply as easy as breathing…

That, as I took a breath every day, and the tears fell down, and the sight of the calm you who looking at me confusedly. The cry was as easy as breathing. And because I can't stop breathing, the tears also can't be stopped.

Loving you is easy, and yesterday was the easiest. We laughed, we hugged, we kissed, we felt each other. That's why while I was sitting here, holding your hand, smiling on how you look nervous while your loveliest dongsaengs re-introduced themselves, it's also easy.

When your sister approached you gently, try to convince you that you "used" to know her, you used to talk to her every night, about your problem, about how hard is your celebrity life, about me… But instead you hide behind me timidly, clutching my shirts really hard and your eyes grew bigger because you really afraid of her that you thought as stranger. It's also easy.

It's also easy to protect you from those fans who try to use this so-called-brilliant-chance to haunt you. Thousands of them claimed as your girlfriend, your family member, and they're so convincing that one day you took one of them to the dorm. The one who claimed as your younger sister, when you didn't even have one, in the end Hyukjae and Kyuhyun have to "take care" of them and I'm here trying to convince the mad you who really thought she was your younger sister.

The easiest was when you yell to your ex. saying that you didn't even know her. And you repeatedly tell her to not touch you. Because you don't even feel anything to her.

But breathing is also hard

It's my fault to lost control and crashed my car, it was all my fault to not listening to your calm statement that you didn't cheat on me. That you love me like breathing. That you need me like oxygen. You were as calm as big tree, but even in that darkness I can saw your tear fell slowly.

Even harder when you woke up that time, looked blankly at me and asked my name. Saying that you didn't know me and wondering where you are, and wondering why there is a bandage on your head. The only thing I can do was crying and regretting. And regret even more when you softly caressed my tears, asking why do I cry, and of course, who am I and who are you?

I'm the only person that you aren't scared of. You might forget everything, but when I asked you, you said you remember my smile, and your heart beat faster every time you saw me, and that your face will burn red when I caressed your cute cheeks or when I hugged you. But you never understand why, and you didn't even remember me.

You'll run to me every night, only to get my hug which made your heart beat faster, sometime to sleep in my lap while I'm playing with your hair, or to listen to my piano, or laugh at my joke. Sometimes I'm tired and asked you to see Shindong or Yesung for a laugh, but you never heard me, you'll just cutely say that you like me.

If it was as easy as that

But they want you to get all your celebrities memories back so you can do your activity again, so you can start working hard without sleeping every day, so you stop smiling only for me, and you stop hiding behind my back every time someone you love so much before greet you, so you can slap a girl by yourself when they tried to stalk you, so you'll see the other dongsaeng for a laugh.

If only I can really start everything from zero slowly, just like the breathing routine I do every second, just like walking along with you every midnight on the Han River, when I didn't have to secretly kissing you or whispered to you that I love you.

If only that was all as easy as taking a long breath.

And of course that day come. All the staff and sad-looking-dongsaengs cheer you that he'll remember everything in count of hours. That everything will be back to "normal" and you don't have to depend on other memory.

And most of all, they will start suffering you again. Slowly, make sure that the memory of your losing will kill you. 1 year by 1 year.

As I yelled violently to the manager, cursing on the staff, and glare deathly to the member who didn't help at all. As I took glimpse to the members one by one, the very poor condition of the dongsaengs who has been losing their leader, but even poorer knowing that their leader will even more broken when it all done.

Of course it wasn't as easy as sigh, wasting those precious breaths.

The picture of Wookie and Donghae cried helplessly. Shindong, Kibum, and Siwon depressed looks. Hankyung sympathizing and Ming forced smile. While Kyuhyun and Hyukjae try to hold me before I explode.

"This is not the reality we wanted!" I said as I screamed loudly. Trying to win the stupid argument to let Jungsoo as he is now. To let him has his normal life, to let him choose the perfect choice in his very last chance to choose it. Heaven or Hell? Sky or Underground? Breath or…. Not to breath?

Or give up, and stop breathing?

That was the loudest cry that came out from me. "The sweet memory for 10 years or 1 weeks?" whisper Hyuk calmly. Of course he didn't get it, it's not the memory that matter. It's all about him… it's…

"Why do you guys have to cry? I thought it's supposed to be a happy moment?"

Interrupt that cute cheerful voice, surprised, all heads turned to him.

An angelic figure, the only one with the brightest smile and healthiest body at this room. My heart beat fast as my mind worked to picture his look forever. The probably last chance of seeing him like this. The staff used this moment to encourage Jungsoo even more. Made him laugh happily and smile brightly, made all his dongsaengs cried even louder. The best moment on the worst moment.

Even better as I remembered how to breathe.

The angelic figure asking innocently to everyone, "So, I'll remember why I always feels like flying everytime I see Heechul right?" and once again, turned the whole room quite. No one answered. Just more sobbing came from everyone mouth. And staff looked at us skeptically. "See Heechul, I will remember again why I love to be beside you so much?" Cheers the one who should be cheered instead.

He slowly walk towards me, and when he reached me, hugged me softly, "Heechul, everything will be back like everyone used to say. It seems like one happy moment, isn't it?" cheer him, to the cant-be-helped-me who still haven't stop bawling, yet.

So it just happened like how you breathe, easy, but you will regret it as time passed by.

When you at least stop breathing for a moment, you know you regretted all that happened in the past. Hope that you can repeat all one by one, and fix the wrong choice you choose.

The so-called-returned-memory-back-operation was done. As a figure of hurt angel returned. Two sad tired eyes, killed slowly again, no longer look the healthiest. Pain slowly, but sure crushing his heart. A tear fell down from his tired eye, one small pure smile showed when I approaching him, crying my heart out as I kissed and hugged him. Lots of "sorry" came out from my mouth. And he just nodded in pain, saying softly that this is no one fault.

Though he has no power to hug me back, he rested his head on my shoulder as more tears fell.

The only thing I know, I have to start breath harder from that time, for someone who has been choosing to forget the air, in sake of living in fake world again.


End file.
